Looking for Boardwalk

I spent a chunk of change rolling through the McDonald’s drive-through trying to become a millionaire. I ordered a fish sandwich when I wasn’t hungry, a medium iced tea when I wasn’t thirsty and an Egg McMuffin for supper, all to get tokens and play the Monopoly game. I was within one token of winning jackpots ranging from $50 to $50,000, or the big kahuna: $1 million. All I needed was Boardwalk.

Gambling is a whole lotta fun except when you lose. I play the slots every month or so and, for a spell in the 1990s, even bet the horses at the local off track betting parlor. I'm partial to long shots – horses that experts say have no chance of winning – and exotic bets: two, three or four horses in one bet. Exactas are my favorite. For only $4, I can bet an exacta box: two horses, and you win half the pot if the horses cross the finish line in first and second place in any order. When I feel like living on the edge -  aka really broke - I bet a $2 exacta straight. This bet is not for the faint of heart. For instance, if you bet the 2 and 3 horse, with the 2 on top, but the three wins, you get nothing. I know from experience that you will grieve over losing a bet like this for the rest of your life.

At the OTB parlor, I sat at a long table with my husband and his cronies. They were serious about the ponies. They all purchased racing forms that they studied religiously, sometimes buying them a day in advance so they could study at home. Some of them bet on the jockey. Others bet on a horse's breeding, or the horse’s past record. One of the men always bet on the gray. One day, when I was down to my last $2, I slipped up the window and bet a straight exacta on the two longest shots on the board.

As we watched the horses thunder across the finish line on TVs suspended above the room, some people shouted, some groaned, but everyone shook their heads in disbelief. “Nobody had that!” my husband’s friends grumbled. My husband nodded. “Whoever bet those horses don't know nothing about racing." The men turned the page in their racing form and began studying the next race. I went to the window and cashed my ticket: $2,000 in one hundred dollar bills. 

I quit going to the track when my luck turned. Now, I only bet the horses on Derby Day. I have never had another big win.

But I didn’t give up on Boardwalk. I just knew I would win, and I was right! My winnings are sequestered in my pocket book: four tokens good for three orders of medium fries and a McGriddle.